Good vibrations

After 5 weeks of dubious knee-age and severley reduced training, I have, today, managed a 9 mile run - the most have achieved in more 3 and a half weeks. Having spent a small fortune in recent weeks on lotions and potions, physio and knee support I might be on to something with my new strap on!

It appears my IT Band (no idea what this is) was "stressed". Now my normal remedy for stress is a large gin and tonic but due to my rather sizeable thighs I decided that soaking my limbs in the finest from Bombay would be a waste, and not being a particularly good siphonist (waste not want not) I decided to administer gin in the normal way (slice of lime, tonic and loads of ice) and take professional advice on reducing IT Band stress.

And the remedy is rather convoluted expensive. I now have a foam (in my opinion a trade description as it is as hard as nails) roller that I lie on sideways and roll my body from my hip to my knee (sounds like a good lyric for a an 80s pop icon see here). I also have some hip strengthening exercises (all I need now is a bus pass to fully complete my aging persona) called the crab!

And finally I am the proud owner of an ITB strap on with "Medical Grade Silicone Insert for Vibration Dampening". Check it out!

This is not my knee - mine is far hairier!

So I strapped this on and gave it a try. My trainer came with me today, pedalling slowly behind me checking my "form" (mile 2 he asked me if I was trying new performance undies - more on this later - which led me to believe his focus was very much on the form of my gluts - cheap thrills!). By mile 4 my left knee was feeling very un-loved and it too wanted a silicon vibration dampening strap on so I swapped it over. MAGIC. Straight away my left knee was in heaven and the pain practically disappeared... by mile 6 my right knee was begging wantonly for some vibration dampening. So what is a girl to do when her body is crying out for more vibration dampening that she has available. Buy another strap on! And so I am now the proud owner of not one but two Medical Grade Silicone Insert for Vibration Dampening strap ons, and am £40 worse off! Let's hope my knees enjoy their dirty weekend and remain in knee heaven all around London in two and a half weeks time!

So with knees sorted (ish) I am now panicking about other elements of my attire. New running tights need ordering but which size (8-10 or 12-14... I want a 10 - 12 grr) and which colour (one which matches my London Breast Cancer Care top or one which matches my normal running gear?) I am also on a mission to find the "best" running knickers. I have set up a spreadsheet where I can mark them out ten for comfort, support and how often I need to perform the knicker extraction manoeuvre....! What a lady!

One other lesson learnt today is to not run after a burger. I had real golden arch belly so it appears my holiday treat for the kids might have back fired on me. Knew I should have gone for the salad, at least I burnt the calories off so the guilt is removed.

So with that all underway all that is left to do is get some more miles under my belt, book more physio massages and begin to panic about 21st. Not long now!

Support needed

It is countdown time and I am officially in panic mode! Until the Bath Half I was going great guns with the training and had clocked up nearly 300 miles. But since then I have barely managed 30 miles. My knees are causing me all sorts of issues and costing me a fortune in physio, peas and a silver lined (healing properties apparently) full knee support!

Since the weekend though I have been back running. Baby steps of 2 miles on saturday followed by 5 miles last night and I am delighted to announce that my right knee seems happy. Sadly the left is now feeling unloved and has started to niggle so I am wearing the support much of the time. Like attention seeking siblings I feel like knocking my knees together but it appears that this was the problem in the first place. I am seriously considering drawing a happy and sad face on my knee when I run London - surely this has got to be a pound of two? If you can't beat them join them!

So with the crucial third month being lost to injury I am now in panic mode. Having spent the first few months of the year longing for April, the warm weather and the beginning of taper (2 weeks of officially being allowed to "kick back") I am now dreading the arrival of the Fools Day! My quandry is how much I should run. My last long run was 10th March (6 weeks prior to the marathon) and 5 miles nearly killed me last night - I was so out of breath. If I do too much I risk injuring my knee again, but if I do nothing I risk not completeing the course! Only 26 days and I will know whether I made the right choice and my every waking hour (and insomnia induced waking hour) is consumed with this dilema! #Iamarunningbore!

But on a positive note I have now organised the quiz night (the Friday before the marathon - milking the Friday night drinkers for all they are worth) although the charity ball is still under debate due to the number of bedrooms we have commit to (38!).

Sight for sore eyes

Running injuries ahoy! But be assured that this blog makes no mention of any of the usual running afflictions... my Achilles are fine, I have no blisters, my lost toe nail has grown back, no chaffing has been inflicted. Oh no my running injuries are far more exotic!

- Bloodshot eye - obviously caused by the super sonic speeds I have been running at; Blink and you'll miss me! Seriously my left eye is red, oozing and uncomfortable and I really think that running anything further than for the bus with one eye closed would knock my balance and have me arrested for drunk running (if there is such a thing). On reflection, and based on my recent run ins with the older generation of Oxfordshire, running with a "wink" might also get me a hot date with an OAP, a schooner of sherry and a Thursday lunchtime special! On second thoughts....

- Runners insomnia - you'd think a blissful night of zzzs would follow a 15 mile run but not chez moi! Oh no. My brain likes to ponder every mile. Calculate average pace. Think about the marathon and what time that pace would deliver. Hydration strategies. Energy gels and so much more. Counting sheep... more like pot holes!

- Heartbreak - my lovely shiny (and sweat splattered) treadmill has had to go to the treadmill doctor! The heart (rate monitor) is broken and is with the surgeons undergoing a donor transplant, leaving me treadmill-less for a week. This means evening runs are a mere memory for now, but hopefully in a week my heart (rate monitor) will be pulsing away fit as a fiddle once more.

 - Loose Leg(gings) - not one to brag but one upside of this running is my bottom IS SMALLer (sadly not my thighs or calves which just seem to be on a growth spurt). However this causes a rather embarrassing running predicament; my gusset height slips down to between my knees every mile! At this point I need to avert a full legging slip incidient; running with leggings around my ankles does nothing for my pace, although it might be an interesting way to increase donations come marathon day. So, with little dignity remaining, I have perfected "The Hoist"; grabbing the material from beneath my knees and swiftly yanking it skywards jumping my wiggling rear into the space made. All this whilst continuing to run and map my pace! Who said I couldn't multitask!

So there you have it. My own unique insight into the real running injuries marathonites experience! Feeling the shame - then please support my efforts and sponsor me here!

Little steps, big mountain

Since announcing my marathon ambitions most people have assumed that I must be an avid and long term running nut. In fact the truth is that until last July I had a lovely life where "pounding the streets", naturally, meant hitting the high street.

That was until we booked a summer holiday and I was faced with a choice familiar with women across the nation; burkini or bikini. Now whilst I respect Nigella’s attempt at making the burkini this seasons must-have-item it is, frankly, the most horrendous what-was-she-thinking outfit which probably lost her the adoration of many of her male fans. Indeed my nutritionist who was watches Nigella TV for its deep cuisine related editorial (NOT its soft porn innuendos) quickly removed Nigella from his desktop wallpaper.

So likemost females contemplating the annual summer bare-all, I resigned myself to a pre-holiday keep fit / diet regime in the hope that 4 weeks would be enough to take me from Elmer Fudd to Elle Macpherson.

So on 15th July 2012 I signed up to Map my Run and began to record and share my workouts (sharing kept me motivated and removed the ability to make excuses; no one likes a loser!). Now I have been sad enough to use the mighty excel to produce a graph which represents my, until December, pathetic running regime (both in terms of distance and quantity).

You will notice a steep step change (scuse the puns) in December. This is directly related to the phone call I received on 30th November informing me of my marathon place with Breast Cancer Care. This was no longer something to tinker with!

Now whilst I am the first to admit that most of my months are paltry, the total is a staggering 148.42 miles and 14,248 calories; See even the most small of starts can combine to make something huge. Now think of all the coppers lying around your home, in old purses and bags, back of sofas, change pots etc. Every single one of them could reduce the 1,000,000 pence total... now go on dig around and pledge some copper to a good cause. I am sure it would be happier supporting the cause than livings its life in a dark place together with odd buttons and saftey pins.

BTW: by the time I run the marathon I should have clocked up over  500 miles in training which equates to a massive 60,000 calories; that’s a silver lining of over 200 snickers bars. Now where are my trainers?

Size DOES matter...

It's official... yesterday I became the proud recipient of the BIGGEST parcel ever... HR even took a picture of the box to excite me until I got home. Check out its proportions - it only just cleared the roof.

Honestly no word of a lie it was as large as a single bed (our 7 year old wants to keep it for a den) and it contained my lovely new shiny treadmill. So guess what we spent a few hours doing last night? Yep setting the puppy up – a few nuts and bolts, a smattering of swearing and a kick or two was all it took between the facilities manager and myself before the beast was ready. I can now train come rain or shine, day or night, babysitter or not. Let’s hope I use it as much as I had promised procurement (it will not become an expensive clothes rack, it will not become an expensive clothes rack, it will not....).

However I confess all: in true female form I might have upgraded the model bought at the last minute (I didn't think Iogstics would notice but it seems I was wrong). What was the rationale for the upgrade? Well I could talk of the additional programmes, increased incline, larger run bed but, I can't lie, it has speakers and MP3 adapter. Who could resist such gadgetery?

So this evening I excitedly popped my training gear on and entered what is going to become my second home: the garage. My lovely new shiny toy awaited its virgin voyage and to ensure I was suitably focussed and motivated coach pinned inspiring images at eye level.

If you can't work it out they are colour print outs of the London marathon to keep me focussed. I think this might have been a joke and it had the appropriate response... I couldn't help giggle and think what a great team I have behind me. This is absolutely a team effort; my coach is the best (facilities manager, procurement and logistics aren't too bad either)!

5 weeks down 15 to go gulp!