All things equal

Having set the alarm for 5.45am I was on the treadmill before 6 on ANOTHER training session. It's a surreal thing yawning whilst running... I am not sure I was fully awake until at least mile 2 and I found it really hard going and was definitely running on empty. But it felt great knowing my session was done by 7 and I could enjoy my day without it hanging over me. This will definitely be repeated however I will ensure my previous evening meal is carb central. Let's clarify I'm not thinking lentils. I am my very own pasta party with a mountain of pasta smothered in rich, yummy sauce and heavenly cheese, with a side of cheesy garlic bread (Six Bells recipe of course fellow Sussexites)  followed by uber pudding rations... after all there need to be some perks and as weight loss is most definitely not a recommendation for would be "endurance runners" I don't need telling twice.

I have also had another couple of donations taking me up to a total of £447 from 15 very generous donors which is amazing but still a long way to go. I am coming to realise that highs don't always last long and before long another friend had shared their own sad cancer story, agreeing "it's bloody horrible". And I ponder natures own quest to create a stable equilibrium and wonder whether, maybe, subconsciously, through onemillionpence I have unwittingly created my own stabilising equilibrium. The minute I get too confident I get a healthy reality check to keep me focussed on the overall purpose. Conversely the minute I get too exhausted and deflated I get my very own, personal pep up. Who needs a life coach when you have the challenge of onemillionpence? So being a (failed) maths A-level student I have created my own pledge formula:

(Another day, another request for a cup and another cancer story) + (Another day, another run and another donation) =  positive outlook

And I definitely need to apply this positive outlook to this weeks run. 15 miles just seems such a big number. So much more than 13 and I am totally in awe of it but am focussing on it "only" being 11 miles away from the big 26.2 once I have finished! The goal suddenly seems almost achievable and I am now upping the stakes and looking at my improving my marathon time but with one caveat; I know I won't win and, for once, that is good enough. At 37 years old getting around without my knees giving up will be an achievement in itself but if the kids think my medal is going to become dressing up box asset they need to think again. I will be wearing my "necklace" every day with pride.

A day of reflection

I awoke this morning raring to go. Having already completed 16 miles in the last few days and with the prospect of my first "Kenyan Hills" session today I was feeling positive, on track and ready. My marathon ambitions are slowly becoming a reality and, whilst I fully expect a set back at some point, I am taking the good while it lasts.

So during my Kenyan Hills training session (sprinting up killer hills, resting for 90secs, jog back down and repeat = knackering) I was thinking about today's post. I was going to write some flippant prose of how the Western world seeks "Kenyan Hills" (in rural Oxfordshire... seriously they are nothing close to terrain of Kenyan Hills) to build stamina whereas those who live in the Kenyan Hills cope with the steep terrain day in and day out, not through choice, not for vanity and marathon training, but as part of their hard and gruelling daily lives. And then I checked my Facebook page and my mood evaporated.

"Our darling girl, Alice, gained her angel wings today. She passed away peacefully with Simon, Milly and myself by her side. We are devastated and know that our lives will never again be the same.

#NightNightAlice

Vicky 12 January 2013"

For those of you who read my Sober Up post this will mean something to you (if not I really recommend you do - click here). Alice was a 17 year old girl who had terminal cancer having been diagnosed at the tender age of 12. I only discovered her a few days ago through my pledge to raise 1,000,000 pence for cancer charities, but in those few short days, reading her posts was an inspiration and she has become a daily feature in my online social world. A friend if you will. I can't even begin contemplate her family's loss in comparison to my own but suffice to say I will miss Alice. The poignancy of this amazing woman being robbed of her young life from Hodgkin’s lymphoma (a form of cancer) only spurs me forward with even more determination and gusto. Whilst £10K is nothing compared to the huge sums some people raise it all counts towards finding a cure and potentially stopping another inspirational 17 year old being robbed of their life too early.

But the million dollar question is did I support her cause and sign up to join the bone marrow register. I am ashamed to admit that despite the blog and my plea for others to sign up that, in fact, life got in the way and it became another thing on my ever increasing "to do" list. Sadly Alice's life has stopped but her "bucket list" was thankfully complete, thanks to strangers making it happen today, not tomorrow when it might be too late. And so I have now signed up. Due to my age I have to go via blood donation but this was something else on my "to do" list so two birds and all that.

Can I now please urge you to all consider giving a little; be it bone marrow ( Anthony Nolan register here or the British Bone Marrow Registry here). or pence (click here to donate). Do what you can and together as indivduals we will conquer the challenge ahead.

Zone in and out and in and out

Another day another run. Just a mere 6 miles today but it felt really good and I could have carried on. As usual the first mile was the hardest but miles 2 - 6 flew by! It appears I have found the "zone" that they speak of. The combination of beat bopping, camp music to keep the legs moving, and free brain space to unleash ideas of how in 361 days I can raise a staggering, but slowly reducing £9,940 (thanks Jo for my third donation) just seemed to make the miles pass in a blur (less blur and more slight haze considering the speed I plod at.)

So today I gave some more thought to the charity ball idea and ways in which I can subtly (and not so subtly) draw pennies and pounds from pockets. I am hoping a certain family member (and professional chocolatier) might consider making after dinner chocs (as tempting tasters) which might lead tipsy diners to part with £10-15 for a full box of chocs to take home. Assuming we have 100 - 150 guests I figure 50 would buy a box so that is £500-£750 in an instant. What do you think?

But I need to get myself in check. First things first: when and where. From here the rest will follow. So my task for the next fortnight is to agree location (Oxford is most obvious) and begin to draw up a short list of potential venues which I aim to approach before end of the month. I am also hoping that another family member (and charity ball organising connoisseur) might be able to give me friendly tips (and time seeing as he is retired and has lots of time on his hands - albeit poolside in Portugal most of the time!). Once this is nailed I can begin to put the rest into action. Watch this space...

As always any ideas , inspiration, support and suggestions welcome.