Down and out?

The past 4 months my life (our life) has been focussed on training for The London Marathon. Through more snow and ice than I would have liked - apprently this is the worst training season on record - and now, having aclimatised to the severe cold, we are set of an unexpected heatwave hitting London next Sunday. Yep that's my luck for you!

So not only am I going to be battling conditions 20+ degrees higher than the majority of my training, I am also not fighting fit. For those of you that have been following my progress, training was going amazingly well until 3rd March where I sustained a knee injury at the Bath Half and since then my training has fallen by the wayside. I have managed approx 30 miles (instead of 150) and am now the owner of a bright yellow swimming hat as I have taken my training to the water, BUT I am not nearly as fit or prepared as I was. Mentally I am broken. The marathon has me beaten already and I feel ill prepared. Everyone says I have done more than enough training - a couple of 17 milers and 3 x 15 milers - but would anyone really say anything different? Either way I am mentally unfit - I can no longer visualise myself as a marathon runner (an expert top tip), I don't see myself as "fit" (as in fitness rather than phwoar - not sure I ever had that!), I am scared of not knowing how the knees will hold up and I feel the months of hard training has been pointless.Sponsorship, the thing that  has been keeping me determined and reminds me of why I am doing this, is naturally slowing down - I have pretty my exhausted all my friends and families pockets - and if it weren't for the £2000+ already raised I would seriously be considering staying in bed next Sunday night.

In fact things are so bad I am cake loading rather than carb loading... I have never done anything like this before and was feeling so proud of my improvement and focus, but my injuries have stolen my pride, ruined my efforts and irradicated any resulting positive attitude. I am at the point of suggesting my "supporters" stay at home as I don't feel like I deserve the support.

So any advice on how to turn this around will be most welcome... otherwise I will attempt a more upbeat post later in the week.

Good vibrations

After 5 weeks of dubious knee-age and severley reduced training, I have, today, managed a 9 mile run - the most have achieved in more 3 and a half weeks. Having spent a small fortune in recent weeks on lotions and potions, physio and knee support I might be on to something with my new strap on!

It appears my IT Band (no idea what this is) was "stressed". Now my normal remedy for stress is a large gin and tonic but due to my rather sizeable thighs I decided that soaking my limbs in the finest from Bombay would be a waste, and not being a particularly good siphonist (waste not want not) I decided to administer gin in the normal way (slice of lime, tonic and loads of ice) and take professional advice on reducing IT Band stress.

And the remedy is rather convoluted expensive. I now have a foam (in my opinion a trade description as it is as hard as nails) roller that I lie on sideways and roll my body from my hip to my knee (sounds like a good lyric for a an 80s pop icon see here). I also have some hip strengthening exercises (all I need now is a bus pass to fully complete my aging persona) called the crab!

And finally I am the proud owner of an ITB strap on with "Medical Grade Silicone Insert for Vibration Dampening". Check it out!

This is not my knee - mine is far hairier!

So I strapped this on and gave it a try. My trainer came with me today, pedalling slowly behind me checking my "form" (mile 2 he asked me if I was trying new performance undies - more on this later - which led me to believe his focus was very much on the form of my gluts - cheap thrills!). By mile 4 my left knee was feeling very un-loved and it too wanted a silicon vibration dampening strap on so I swapped it over. MAGIC. Straight away my left knee was in heaven and the pain practically disappeared... by mile 6 my right knee was begging wantonly for some vibration dampening. So what is a girl to do when her body is crying out for more vibration dampening that she has available. Buy another strap on! And so I am now the proud owner of not one but two Medical Grade Silicone Insert for Vibration Dampening strap ons, and am £40 worse off! Let's hope my knees enjoy their dirty weekend and remain in knee heaven all around London in two and a half weeks time!

So with knees sorted (ish) I am now panicking about other elements of my attire. New running tights need ordering but which size (8-10 or 12-14... I want a 10 - 12 grr) and which colour (one which matches my London Breast Cancer Care top or one which matches my normal running gear?) I am also on a mission to find the "best" running knickers. I have set up a spreadsheet where I can mark them out ten for comfort, support and how often I need to perform the knicker extraction manoeuvre....! What a lady!

One other lesson learnt today is to not run after a burger. I had real golden arch belly so it appears my holiday treat for the kids might have back fired on me. Knew I should have gone for the salad, at least I burnt the calories off so the guilt is removed.

So with that all underway all that is left to do is get some more miles under my belt, book more physio massages and begin to panic about 21st. Not long now!

Support needed

It is countdown time and I am officially in panic mode! Until the Bath Half I was going great guns with the training and had clocked up nearly 300 miles. But since then I have barely managed 30 miles. My knees are causing me all sorts of issues and costing me a fortune in physio, peas and a silver lined (healing properties apparently) full knee support!

Since the weekend though I have been back running. Baby steps of 2 miles on saturday followed by 5 miles last night and I am delighted to announce that my right knee seems happy. Sadly the left is now feeling unloved and has started to niggle so I am wearing the support much of the time. Like attention seeking siblings I feel like knocking my knees together but it appears that this was the problem in the first place. I am seriously considering drawing a happy and sad face on my knee when I run London - surely this has got to be a pound of two? If you can't beat them join them!

So with the crucial third month being lost to injury I am now in panic mode. Having spent the first few months of the year longing for April, the warm weather and the beginning of taper (2 weeks of officially being allowed to "kick back") I am now dreading the arrival of the Fools Day! My quandry is how much I should run. My last long run was 10th March (6 weeks prior to the marathon) and 5 miles nearly killed me last night - I was so out of breath. If I do too much I risk injuring my knee again, but if I do nothing I risk not completeing the course! Only 26 days and I will know whether I made the right choice and my every waking hour (and insomnia induced waking hour) is consumed with this dilema! #Iamarunningbore!

But on a positive note I have now organised the quiz night (the Friday before the marathon - milking the Friday night drinkers for all they are worth) although the charity ball is still under debate due to the number of bedrooms we have commit to (38!).

Coming together

Well I am nearly at the end of Q1 of 1,000,000 pence and, true to form, have started many projects but am yet to complete any:

- The marathon is underway (5 weeks yesterday I will HOPEFULLY - and knee permitting - be proudly wearing my medal)
- Charity ball - venue about to be booked and 2 auction prizes confirmed (a Porsche racing day and a gorgeous sequined shrug) but still SOOOOOOOOOO much to do before September
- TMP has talent - booked but needs marketing!
- Marine challenge - 10 idiots team buddies have agreed to take place just need to book us in for our October mud fest!
- London 10K - keep talking about doing it, need to book it up
- Quiz night - keep talking about it but little more
- Penny pots - with £100 in pennies on my desk at home this is a great fundraising scheme.... just to get around to "bagging" it all up and banking it

My growing to do list is massive and growing and doesn't even begin to include my mummy duties. To be honest I don't ever need to write these down. Not because I am a perfect mummy; far from it. I just have a 7 year old who will quite innocently highlight my mummy faux pas, usually in public; "Mummy why didn't you make my bed today?"! However I do recognise that my to do list gives me real significance and makes me feel needed - I know totally non-sensical and I often wonder if I am alone in this odd attitude?


Anyway I digress. I like to think that I have now reached my "base camp". Foundations are firmly in place but there is still a huge mountain in front to climb. Now I am not by nature a "completer finisher". I am far more comfortable being an "ideas generator" and leaving the organised professional folk to make it happen. So not only is 1,000,000 pence seeing me get fit, but also grow a pair of "see it through" wings. Who knew this pledge would turn into some pretty intense personal development?

And apart from refining my project management skills, one of the most amazing by-products of this journey has been the interactions with people I would otherwise not have had; Playground mum chums sharing their stories and giving a much needed pat on the back along with offers of additional childcare to help me with training. Colleagues and their amazing generosity and interest in my latest running scrape (I am certainly corporate entertainment at the moment). Friends offering huge amounts of support, encouragement and direction. My Mark - for everything he is doing whilst I am not doing it (his to-do list is also growing expedentially), and for not once moaning about me taking on "yet something else". And finally strangers. People I would never have come across had I not undertaken this crazy challenge. People who make my challenge look like a picnic in the park. Who undertake their own challenges with such focus, dedication and without a moan, they are the real heros of the piece. They are the ones who are really battle hard and make a 26.2 mile run  look easy. And one such lady, Claire Grant, is someone I have recently come across via the power of the interweb and PR. Despite a terminal cancer diagnosis she is fighting it with every cell in her body and still finding time and energy to raise £10,000... suddenly my challenge looks pretty easy by comparison! And one of the ways she is raising money is not with paper cups with a cut slit in the lid. Hell no, she is way more talented than I. She is creating these lovely bracelets made with her own fair hands and blinged up with Swarovski crystals.

They are made to order and cost a mere £5 each. Why not choose a red or pink one and wear it with pride. Simply pay via the Virgin Money Giving site here and let Claire know your choice and details via her Facebook page here (and whilst you are there why not like the page as well!). Then sit and wait by the letterbox for your new bling to arrive!

Knee Jerk

I feel like the Titanic sinking. Yesterday disaster struck and in true OTT Whetton style I am now convinced I won't make the starting line on 21st April. Surely there is  Hollywood blockbuster in there somewhere?

[To be heard in Hollywood voiceover man's voice] "In a world where Saturday's usually mean Under 9s football and where mountains of washing consume the adults. One woman stands firm in her fight against the impossible; 26.2 miles. Every moment in her life has led to this huge undertaking but can 3 months of intense training undo 37 years of bodily abuse; chocolate, alcohol and general couch potatoe-itis are proving too much for her old knees to bare. Can she beat the odds? Will a knee replacement be the answer? Will an intense regime of drugs and physio work? Is ice better than heat? Will she reach the goal on the Mall? So many questions, such intrigue and right now no one knows. Watch the story unravel before your very eyes"

This is my tale of allure, romance, determination, pain and then heartbreak. Some details may be slightly embellished for the purpose of this blog. All characters appearing in this work are non-fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely non-coincidental. blah blah blah...

Picture the scene: 11am Saturday morning lying on the couch of a rather young, male physio, naked from the knees down, his young, soft hands gliding along honey coloured limbs, toned to perfection with toes painted the most vivid shade of on trend cherry red.

Now the picture reality: 11am Saturday morning lying, breathless (due to the usual Saturday morning groundhog day of looking for matching football socks, goalie gloves, shin pads, trainers etc etc) on the couch of  rather young (so young I wonder if he has started to shave yet and feel strangely maternal towards him) physio, naked from the knees down (dressed in borrowed football shorts as I overlooked the fact that my skinny jeans would not roll up sufficiently for inspection), his young, soft hands prodding my pasty white (and only partially shaven; well it's so cold that only the bottom of my calf gets an airing and that is only when I am running so why bother with anything above the "plimsoll" line?), cellulite rippling and toes emblazoned in the most vivid shades of bruised black, blue and yellow.

45 mins and £35 later I leave feeling embarrased and was strapped in a multitude of bright blue tape my knee cap resembling a face. Having  been touched, rubbed and strapped I feel worn out and can virtually hear "Alans" pub chat with his Rugby team about the 37 year old yeti he is treating!

But no time to worry about that. I had 20 miles to run and so run I must do. But sadly one bagel, 3 gels and a bottle of lucozade later and my knee was more than unhappy. It was shooting pain through my leg with every stride. I gallantly continued on, singing inspirational songs "Chattanooga Choo Choo", "We'll meet again" and "It's a long way to Tipperarey" but nothing stopped the pain. I dreamt of my pinup, tried visualising the Mall and the thousands of people cheering me on, I thought about the huge sums I was going to raise but yet the tears still fell and I accepted I was beaten. One phone call later and my own cavalary arrived, a little aghast at my mascara'd face and hysterical wails but full of hugs, sympathy and Sainsburys finest petit pois.

And so the movie closes leaving audiences across the globe on the edge of their seats. How can one knee possibly heal in 6 weeks? How can our heroine make up the 5 miles missed in training? How how how....? Who knows but I can assure you the sequel will most definitely feature best supporting actor "Alan".

A dry run in Bath

I did it. I actually got around my first official race and in a decent time too; 13.1 miles in 2 hours 13 minutes. Not bad huh! Being part of the reason a city grinds to a halt for 12,000 crazy individuals who decided at some point in 2012 to accept the Bath Half challenge was amazing. Being amongest so many charity runners doing something selfless for the good of others is a powerful emotion. Being over taken by a banana... humiliating!

As a complete novice I had absolutely no idea what to expect, least of all the nerves which seemed to rise the closer the train drew to Bath. I thought I was pretty well prepared; well trained, had a target time, carb loaded... And whilst I realise the previous 48 hours had not been ideal pre race conditions (late night, early mornings and a 3.5 mile hike) the Bath Half was really more about experiencing a real race before the marathon.

So what did I learn? For me the most important thing was don't panic. The first mile or two was at a very slow pace due to the crowds and I did what every book, article, blog and expert cautions against; I went too fast to make up for the loss. Lucky this was my "easy week" so having built up my core stamina and mental abilities over my long runs since Christmas, I was able to just about continue the race at this higher pace. It was helped considerably by the fact that I had £40 riding on finishing in under 2 hours 15 mins (thanks Nicole, Lorraine, Jude and Pip). But believe me this is not something I would be able to do across 26 miles and so NUMBER ONE lesson is: listen to the experts they really do know what they are talking about.

I had already planned to write my name on my running shirt for the marathon but the benefit of this was made even more apparent in Bath. The crowds really seem to carry people - and for me in Bath the deep routed psychology of not hearing my name shouted and supported (like the the kid at school who no-one liked) was really de-motivating.

Take a bag. I had assumed that as I had supporters they would "hold my stuff". But it was only as I started stripping off my warmer outer clothes (trackie bums, sweatshirt and coat) and witnessed the growing bundle of clothing that I realised I hadn't even bought a bag. At all big races there are luggage tents so this is the place for belongings... not for your supporters to carry (especially when they also have a 7 year old, a 2 year old, a supply of snacks, entertainment and nappys! to carry and manage).

Have post race fuel ready in your kit bag. The Bath Half post race goodie bag was full of quick hit sugar rushes (and a random Corss and Blackwell cooking sauce!?) but having spent the past 2 hours chewing/drinking and sucking a veritable smorgasbord of sugar packed, artificial flavoured sweet things I was in desperate need of a savoury hit. For once a Mars a day just wasn't going to help me rest and play!

At the end of challenge number 1 I have raised a tremendous £1300 and, selfishly, have my very first bit of metal - engraved with my name and official time - and my name listed in the Bath Chronicle. I hadn't realised how proud I would be of these items and I can't begine to imagine how amazing I will post marathon. With only 5% of the population ever undertaking a marathon this is huge (and I will be milking it!).

Where to start?

Tomorrow is race day! Having booked the Bath Half last August in the midst of Olympic frenzy it seemed so, so far away. I had not intended it to be a fundraising effort but more a huge personal goal inspired by Jess Ennis' amazingly pert derriere (don't pretend you hadn't checked it out green with envy)! Considering my previous running form was the heady distance of 3 miles this really was going to be a mammoth challenge for me.

But since that moment of pert bottom inspired madness our world has been rocked by the unwelcome re-appearance of cancer into our midst. It's funny; before we had the rude intrusion I hadn't appreciated how painful cancer could be. Like most I was pretty ignorant and had only ever considered the physical impact of cancer (be it hair loss or surgery scars) which certainly can't be underestimated. I was aware of chemo and the induced nausea it brings but certainly didn't understand it or appreciate the pain, despair and gloom that can also creep in. And if I am honest I wish I was still ignorant. That would mean that this nasty illness had not crept into our world, unannounced and unwelcome. But it has and it was only having witnessed it first hand that the enormity hit me. Seeing it up close and personal and comparing it to my own now insignificant pain (a mere rubbing toe nail at mile 4) inspired me to generate some fundraising and led me (in a moment of Glycogen depletion madness) to approach Breast Cancer Care and ask beg for a golden ticket at the London Marathon. It appeared I was "lucky" that day late last November and was awarded a last minute place. Oops this was serious and if I was going to stand a chance of actually crossing the line at mile 26.2 I was going to have to dedicate much of my already limited time to training (a minumum of 5 hours a week). And if I was going to put my family and friends through this (and the constant moaning, begging for sponsorship and general sweatyness) then it deserved recognition. Recognition in the form of financial reward. Not for me but two wonderful charities; Macmillan nurses and Breast Cancer Care.

And hell why stop at the marathon. Why not dedicate a year to raising a significant amount something along the lines of 1,000,000 pence? If I had stopped to think long enough about HOW I was going to raise such funds I would never have started. In fact I was advised to half the target by my lovely mentor but being a little stubborn and, to be honest, offended at the very question that I might not actually achieve it, I simply did what I always do; ignored the advice and continued anyway. It is only on reflection that I wonder if I was double bluffed!? And so 1,000,000 pence was officially launched at the end of 2012 and has raised, in just 61 days, over 100,000 pence - an incredible £16 per day (which equates to nearly £6000 in a year!)

And so now I must focus and prep for tomorrow - carb loading is underway, outfit ready, gels selected and trialled and bed calling. And I find my mind wandering towards the delightful Dermot O'Leary, who wouldn't? He, too, is running Bath tomorrow for Coppafeel (www.coppafeel.org); a charity focussed on ensuring breast cancers are diagnosed as early as possible to inrease survival rates.

And whilst my outfit is my usual shocking 80s throwback get up, it is nothing on Dermot who really will be looking a right tit... Maybe I'll share my joke with him as we line up on the start line. I am sure he will see the hunour and think how original and witty I am!



Wish me luck now!

PS 4 lovely Uffington ladies drunkenly promised me £10 each if I beat 2 hours 15  mins tomorrow. Jude, Nicole, Lorraine and Pip get ready to show me the colour of your money!