Running injuries ahoy! But be assured that this blog makes no mention of any of the usual running afflictions... my Achilles are fine, I have no blisters, my lost toe nail has grown back, no chaffing has been inflicted. Oh no my running injuries are far more exotic!
- Bloodshot eye - obviously caused by the super sonic speeds I have been running at; Blink and you'll miss me! Seriously my left eye is red, oozing and uncomfortable and I really think that running anything further than for the bus with one eye closed would knock my balance and have me arrested for drunk running (if there is such a thing). On reflection, and based on my recent run ins with the older generation of Oxfordshire, running with a "wink" might also get me a hot date with an OAP, a schooner of sherry and a Thursday lunchtime special! On second thoughts....
- Runners insomnia - you'd think a blissful night of zzzs would follow a 15 mile run but not chez moi! Oh no. My brain likes to ponder every mile. Calculate average pace. Think about the marathon and what time that pace would deliver. Hydration strategies. Energy gels and so much more. Counting sheep... more like pot holes!
- Heartbreak - my lovely shiny (and sweat splattered) treadmill has had to go to the treadmill doctor! The heart (rate monitor) is broken and is with the surgeons undergoing a donor transplant, leaving me treadmill-less for a week. This means evening runs are a mere memory for now, but hopefully in a week my heart (rate monitor) will be pulsing away fit as a fiddle once more.
- Loose Leg(gings) - not one to brag but one upside of this running is my bottom IS SMALLer (sadly not my thighs or calves which just seem to be on a growth spurt). However this causes a rather embarrassing running predicament; my gusset height slips down to between my knees every mile! At this point I need to avert a full legging slip incidient; running with leggings around my ankles does nothing for my pace, although it might be an interesting way to increase donations come marathon day. So, with little dignity remaining, I have perfected "The Hoist"; grabbing the material from beneath my knees and swiftly yanking it skywards jumping my wiggling rear into the space made. All this whilst continuing to run and map my pace! Who said I couldn't multitask!
So there you have it. My own unique insight into the real running injuries marathonites experience! Feeling the shame - then please support my efforts and sponsor me here!
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